Three Nights as God

The apotheosis. He experiences unity with the divine. It's terrifying, hilarious, and profoundly humbling. He is all things… for three nights. Then he comes back to Earth with a smirk.

"Three Nights as God: My Sleepy-Time Adventures"

It all started one Tuesday night, right after Mom made chili. I crawled into bed, stomach full and head empty, except for some leftover homework guilt. I remember thinking, "Maybe I’ll dream of being Spider-Man.” But nope. I went full God-mode instead.

The Call to Adventure

The first time it happened, I was floating in my bed like a marshmallow in hot cocoa. Next thing I knew, I was everywhere. The moon winked at me. The stars did the Macarena. Planets spun like pizza dough in my hands. I didn’t need Google Maps—I was the map.

“I’m God!” I shouted. But since I was God, I guess I just heard myself in my head. No echo, just wisdom. And man, it felt good. Like, I could finally understand algebra and why Uncle Larry wears socks with sandals.

Tests, Powers, and Cosmic Vibes

For three glorious nights, I had powers like never before. Oceans danced if I snapped. Mountains bowed when I yawned. I knew every dog’s name. I even knew what made Grandma’s meatloaf taste like old sneakers. (It’s the raisins, by the way.)

I sang a silent song, and galaxies spun. If there were a God School, I would've been valedictorian, plus prom king.

The Fall from Grace

But, as always, mornings are party poopers. On the fourth day, I woke up twisted like a pretzel in my sheets, drool glued to my cheek, and my dog licking my toes like they were bacon.

It hit me hard—like missing the school bus and realizing you still have to go. The power faded. Stars stopped dancing. My alarm clock, traitor of joy, just blinked 6:45 AM like it was proud.

I was back to being me. Regular ol’ me, with chores, math tests, and cereal that turns soggy too fast.

The Epiphany

At first, I hated it. Why would I want to be human after tasting the divine? But then, while brushing my teeth and humming “I am peace, I am love,” I saw my reflection and thought—being human ain’t so bad. I mean, when you're God, there's no mystery. No surprise. No chocolate chip cookies you didn’t expect.

Maybe the best part of being God is knowing when to stop—and remembering that being human means I still get to learn. And mess up. And get back up.

Plus, God never gets to ride a roller coaster with his best friend, or beat a video game at 2 AM. That’s our job.

The Big Lesson

So now, I don’t mind when I wake up to laundry and pop quizzes. Because the hardest part of being God... is not being able to just be.

And as Grandma says, with or without raisins:

Or, my version: